The Election by Rob Hanson

I need to say this, as this has been bothering me. I can't stand Obama; I am not particularly fond of McCain. Just not. Why is it that every four years the choices for president seem to be getting worse and worse, like someone is watering down the gene pool for potential presidents? Every generation gets a little bit dumber and a little bit crappier. Not once have I voted for someone who I could really get behind completely. Some days I think I need to run, or at the very least write myself in on the ballot.
-On one hand [probably my left] I have Barack Obama. I dislike him; I distrust him; I really have no desire to see him holding the most powerful executive office in this country with the potential for a Democrat super-majority backing him. He's a little too pink for my liking. If he gets elected [which he will] and I can pretty much expect him to enact whatever he feels like, such as his thinly veiled socialist ideas. And don't tell me they aren't. Don't lie to me. It's Ok. Just admit it. Just call a spade a spade [if it walks like a duck, etc]. Don't tell me tax credits are tax cuts. Don't tell me the lowest tax payers get screwed cause the current lowest 33% of tax payers get all of their income taxes back and that number's going up to 44% who end up paying nothing to the fed. Looking to take from business as much as possible then giving that money to people who don't contribute to government is socialism.
I know what some of you will say:
"But, Rob."
"Yes, Kyle?"
"People will still pay into the payroll tax for social security."
To which I respond that those same people who will be paying no federal income tax will be the ones Obama is giving these tax credits to. So they pay no income tax, end up paying nothing into social security and reap all the benefit. That is socialism. Didn't this country spend the better part of the second half of the 20th Century fighting against socialism and Communism? Weren't we the predominate world power during that time with our capitalism and our individualistic society? Yeah, capitalism's been an abject failure.
-McCain ain't hot shit either. Old fart. Great campaign, asshole. Way to pander to the religious right and social conservatives. Didn't our parents tell us when we were kids to be ourselves? And yet somehow McCain forgot that and decided to play the game and spin the wheel! Idiot. Great, I either get a socialist or a geriatric. Dunno, I might feel better with the old guy with skin cancer. Until he croaks and I get Sarah Palin, someone with as much qualification as Barack Obama. Awesome, I am damned if I do and damned if I don't.
-But that is not what I originally started this post for. The above was just a tirade, a tangent. What I really have to get off my chest is this celebrity. This American Idol fan fest, mainly for Obama [but McCain has done some as well]. What do I mean by this? All the magazine covers that Obama is on. GQ, Men's Vogue, Men's Fitness. Going on Late Nite or the Tonight Show. Michelle Obama going on the Tonight Show, going on the Food Network. Obama going to Germany and giving a speech to a quarter millions Germans [I really don't care which candidate Europe prefers]. Even McCain was on the cover of People Magazine. I really don't value the political opinion of Rob Sheffield from Rolling Stone. I don't. I know he is entitled to his opinions and he is can express them whenever he wants. I just don't want to find political commentary in the magazine I bought to read about music. I don't. If I wanted read about the debates or the candidates I will purchase a copy of the New Republic or the Economist. I am not voting for these people based on their morning routine for keeping in shape or where they shop, or what their favorite recipe of brownie is. I don't need to know that and I don't want to know that. I need to know what a particular candidate thinks on a particular set of issues. Every time I see one of those two on a magazine cover, I let loose a little internal scream.
- People treat Obama like some goddamn messiah. He's Will Smith and Justin Timberlake put together. To all you Obama supporters out there, on a scale of 1 to 10 [10 being your grandma, 1 being guy who pissed in your coffee] how much do you love Barack Obama? Or do you call him Barry? Are you on a first name basis [Just like Trudy Raizen and Dave]? Do you invite Barry over in your own little world for tea and biscuits? Do your pants tighten in anticipation of an Obama presidency? Do you realize that he favors socialist policies? If you are Ok with that, just tell me. Just say, "Yes, Rob, I know this and want those kind of changes," and we can move on.
-This is possibly just bias, but it feels to me Democrats put all their candidates on some damn pedestal, lifting them to mythic proportions. It's gotten more and more in my recent memory. Clinton was loved and adored. Al Gore was going to be the savior for the environment. Jon Kerry was supposed to be the savior from George Bush. Barack Obama is going to be the savior from capitalism and a greedy Wall Street [GO MAIN STREET!]. It's this all or nothing attitude that Democrats seem to have about eeeeeeveryting. Everything. Republicans and conservatives are evil and killing this country and are stupid and unelightened and poopy-heads. I have had this discussion with my girlfriend and we agree. Conservatives generally think liberals are misguided and need correction. Liberals think conservatives are evil-minded bigots who are killing the planet. Democrats, liberals, please stop, relax, breathe and take a chill-pill. If Jon McCain is elected the sky will not fall, the earth will not stand still. Will he do a good job? That is debatable. Yes, Rob, I believe John McCain is the inferior choice for president and Mr Obama is the right man for the job. I prefer his health plan and his view on the Iraq war. That's what you need to say to me, not: "If you vote for McCain you are a fascist pig who loves big business and thinks that poor people should just die and you are a racist." [I can't wait for someone to call me of that.]
- I could say more, but I won't. Thank God I am in a Blue state so I am released to vote for Bob Barr.

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Alright, former debate partner, let's get down to this. I will say that I generally agree with your overall idea. I do tend to think that political commentators today are way too quick to fall into the "false dichotomy" trap of liberal vs. conservative. If anything, the sheer amount of "undecided" and "centrist" voters in this election should give testament to that fact. People are tired of party hacks and vitriol. This is also evidenced by your somewhat-ranting tone. It's not too hard to see that you're pretty fed up with the system...and liberals, I guess.

I'll say this, I'm not a fan of Obama either. I'm not voting for him. Hell, I'm not voting for anyone - as I explained in my last post. Neither of these candidates deserves to lead the free world - and by the time his term is over, I doubt the position will even be able to be accurately described in that way.

But I do find it funny that you spend a great deal of time lambasting liberals for their "all or nothing" attitude, their (apparently group-wide?) belief that conservatives are evil and their zeal for their candidate (which you find overbearing) - and then turn around and essentially rant for three paragraphs about how Obama is an evil pinko celebrity. All while telling liberals to "relax, breathe and take a chill pill." The double standard there cannot go unnoticed.

I'd also call into question your seemingly rash generalizations about liberals. For instance...I'm pretty liberal, but I don't think conservatives are "killing the planet." Perhaps your tendency to equate liberals with environmentalists stems from some personal relationships you have (Hi Ashley!). I will say this, though, about your cultural "celebrity" claims - I find it pretty frightening too. But I think your focus purely on Obama is telling of the fact that you're a conservative. Yes, many liberals are getting unbelievably wacky about this dude...calling him a savior and comparing him to the great President's of our country's history. But have you watched McCain rallies? Or even worse, Palin rallies? The cult of the hockey mom is just as ridiculous as those who glorify Mr. Obama. The Presidency is no longer a position won by the most qualified candidate. It is won by the most photogenic, the most dashing, the one with a certain je ne sais quoi. The election is a popularity contest writ large, undoubtedly. And this is indeed scary.

As for all this socialism nonsense - some things need to be said here. First off, the term "socialist" has been used so unbelievably pejoratively that even people who hold some socialist beliefs are afraid to voice them, for fear of being labeled a communist. These two things are not the same, and you fall into that trap when you mention that we fought "socialism and communism" for all those years. I assume you mean the USSR, which was not socialist - it was communist. In fact, we had many socialist allies during WWII (and I guess a communist ally since technically we were friends with Stalin). So I suggest that we need to ditch this unhelpful and often-times misunderstood terminology. I wouldn't call Obama's plans socialist, per se. They're simply more liberal. Then again, even THAT term has come under fire and is generally thought to have negative connotations attached. Obama does want to increase the power of the government to aid those who the free market has abandoned. He does not, however, want to increase government intrusions into personal freedoms or strip citizens of civil rights...no, we'll leave that to the Republicans who, like their latest 2 term President, seem to claim they like small government but then take any chance they can get to increase governmental power to absurd levels. But that's just the thing, isn't it? You'd be hardpressed to find a repub or a conservative who will claim to actually like Bush. Their abandonment of Bush is just like the Dem's denying their socialist tendencies. They say, yeah we like the general political idea of the party...just don't equate us with that one aspect of it...we don't like that part. So how come the GOP can get away with it but liberals can't?

In closing, I'd like to say that Rob is awesome - let nobody who reads this come to believe that my disagreement with the man has anything to do with me disliking him personally. It just so happens that we disagree on a few politically relevant topics. I too recognize that the Presidential race has turned into a popularity contest and it is deplorable...not to mention unbearable. Like Rob, I also recognize the problems with sweeping generalizations about liberals and conservatives. We cannot hope to mitigate the damages of polarizing politics until we get rid of these pre-conceived notions about the people we disagree with politically. It just seems that Rob's advice to "chill out" would best be aimed at ALL political malcontents...not simply those who lean left.

Finally, and most importantly - Rob, you are a racist.


~JSK